She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
