I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
