Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
