This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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