No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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