I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
