I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
