I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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