Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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