can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
