thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
But break dance skills will only take you so far
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
