Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
