grandma shit on top of the toilet
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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