I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
