Don't you send me to vm
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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