last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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