I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
