He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
