I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Randomize
