I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
