Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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