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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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