you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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