the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
