so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
