I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
