I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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