She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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