Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
She announced her abortion via fbk
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
