Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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