sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
