I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
