she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
