I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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