Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
