Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
