cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I am available for nakedness
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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