I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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