i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
