is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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