big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
