i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
