Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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