quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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