It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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