even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
