Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
