You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
