If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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