I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
