Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
