Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
