You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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